i don’t post much on here, but believe me, i love tumblr, every post i see helps me so much just by letting me know there are other people out there like me. i have a confession i wanna make, i need to tell someone but i can’t, so i hope it’s helping me when i post this here.
last year there was this time when i just felt so down, i didn’t know why so i couldn’t talk to anyone about it. people started asking question, why i was behaving like that, why i wasn’t myself anymore. i couldn’t answer them so i started to lie. i invented this story about my parents, that they were having al these fights about my dad’s job. they were having a fight, sometimes, but never as bad or as often as i told my friends. it was just a cry for attention i think. Now, whenever i feel bad i tell my friends, especially my best friend, it’s because of my parents. i think it also has to do something with knowing that i get the attention. whenever i have this feeling i don’t get enough from my best friend i make up a new story, just to know that he’s there for me. and sometimes he is, other times, like this one, i haven’t spoken to him in 3 weeks which is a really long time for us and i don’t know what to do anymore.
after i post this, i’ll promise myself i’ll shut down the stories about my parents, after this weekend, after today, i’ll never make up stories about them ever again. they don’t deserve it, and i have to make up my own life and my friends without using them.
thank you for reading this, for being there even if you don’t know me at all.
